Facing what I'm becoming, by Winterheart

Facing what I'm becoming

by Winterheart

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1.	My crumbling world 04:57	lyrics
Underneath the words is a different world Where no one can pretend or hide the pain away. WHere you have to face what you did, who you became. Where pain and solitude are constant Everything else is passing by. And you are deathly scared of who you are. This is my crumbling world where no hope can live long. And dissapointment pervades everything Pure discomfort is the reality. only one feeling is the honesty Being hopeless is one I can truly feel. suffering is always present and painfully real Lost, forsaken, empty. To rot and die lonely Torture and insanity What life plans/has/ for me. longing for its end. so I can stop to pretend This is my crumbling world. What I am not able to rebuild. Facing what I became I realise It is already pointless to live this life Just lying here broken. Knowing all my dreams are shattered. Into heart-carving splinters. into endless thorns on my heart
2.	Broken pureness cries 06:48	lyrics
behind a world of lies… Truth has to arise Revealed before my eyes, a broken pureness cries. Tears are the only signs To realize I am still alive Speechless existence the burden I carry and it’s called life. Trapped in my torturing mind There is no way out to find Something inside me That could open my eyes. To witness myself one more time As my broken pureness cries Broken pureness cries This is my life I have reached my doomday. To finally decide Whether in this deathly cage to stay Or end all this suffering and die This day I found myself facig my biggest fear Seeing what I beleived was never ever never real Reality is what I have left struggling To face what I have been becoming
3.	Asylum of awake nightmares 09:08	lyrics
Tonight…again An awake nightmare As I’m still lying Bipolar visions and dying This vision my mind created Every night I have to face The insanity inside me Slowly and painfully killing me Your calming silence I call warfare Cause it is my worst awake nightmare When something inside my scratching my mind Torturing and killing me alive Carving inside, observing from outside Watching myself dying and going mental As the victim of this lifetime terror The scariest future I see is in the mirror Can’t fall asleep again… lying alone in the darkness embraced by total emptiness and deathly silence but still in torturing noise created by my own thoughts. eating me alive from inside Making myself going mental But my body is still struggling…fooling everybody and everything. I am a mirror from the outer world, window from inside. I am stuck in my own body, shouting for help but they can’t hear me,they cant hear me they can’t see me. They can’t find my dead soul to grab it and avoid from falling down into total emptiness I am scratching the wall trying to get out from my own shelf. Observing the world that maybe I don’t even want to live in. Insomnia is an awake nightmare but you can not wake up to get rid of it. But still that total emptiness creates me without any influence Every night another part of me comes into existence For that insane suffering just to die immediately.
4.	I'm still nothing 07:22	lyrics
Looking for the way out, facing walls Looking for somebody to help, finding ghosts Searching for happiness, facing dissapointment Searching for answers, finding misbeliefs Trying to rise, always fall Grabbing a hand, pushes me deeper Trying to live, always failed Wants to believe, never hoped Self created belief that I always believed For the life I would I would really need Destroyed in a second Everything I’ve built Destroyed way before I could really live Tried everything, anything…never succeeded, never shone Tried everything, anything… always fell deeper and deeper Tried everything, anything....never lived, always betrayed Tried everything, anything…always believed, but never hoped I tried everything but I am still nothing Still nothing and nothing Nothing but nothing would try anything But I’m still nothing
5.	As I fade away (into desolation) 06:46	lyrics
counting the seconds hoping they won’t be hours until my mind stops ruining my life torturing itself and my body Causing horrible pain and endless suffering. Feeling better is just an illusion To fool myself and then…to fall deeper again. Don’t give up…they say. I say: don’t even try! Try to survive they pray But I am longing for suicide Never is the word I should have already learnt: never try anything you want cause you won’t succeed Never healing wounds just won’t stop bleeding. My carved heart just can’t stop crying for ever. counting the years now does it make any sense to count further??? The happiest moment in my life when I think about suicide. Longing for my death is the only thing I want to get.
6.	The will for nothing 03:22	lyrics
The infinite moment of truth becomes imminent. In the dreadful end Of my aimless journey where I am Found my only will The will satisfies all my needs The will for nonexistence The will for nihil. The will for nothing The will for nihil. The will for nothing is always stronger than willing for some power The will for nihil is my triumph To live this nonexistence
7.	And finally... I just hate myself 04:20	lyrics
And after all this Facing what I became I just…ended up hating myself Disgusted of what I see Afraid of what I feel And finally….I just hate myself I hate myself I hate what I became And I’m the only one To hate and to blame I hate myself I hate what I became Looking in the mirror I see only shame I hate myself I hate what I became I’m undone! and I won’t exclaim I hate myself It’s what I became I hate everything I’ve ever became
8.	Meghalok 05:33	lyrics
Lehajtott fejjel gondolok most arra, Hogy miért kell meghalnom újra Behunyom a szemem, mert nem akarok látni Nem akarok élni, nem akarok vágyni Nem akarok bánni, nem akarok várni Nem tudom, hogy miért, de sürget az idő Nagyon sürget mindent, amit akarok Nem akarom várni, míg lassan megrohadok. Nincs már semmi, amit én akarok, hiszen Úgyis meghalok. Csalódások érnek, primitív csalódások Kifeszítem magam a világ közepére Rohanok még egy ideig félve Rohanok, mert félek Rohanok, nehogy rossz érjen Nehogy megégessetek Veletek kiszúrni én nem tudok Tudom, meg kell halnom, Úgyis meghalok Úgyis… meghalok Úgyis… meghalok Meghalok Meghalok (Szöveg: Koronczai Ágota, Tóth Ádám)

about

Adám Tóth – guitar/vocals
Péter Nagy - drums
Gábor Szalai - bass
Zsolt Géczy – live guitar

Special thanks to:
Viola Kunos – bass
Szilvia Papp – vocals on ’’Meghalok”
Ágota Koronczai – lyrics for ’’Meghalok’’
Attila jeszenszky – Viola on ’’As I fade away (into desolation)’’

Artwork by M. Zsolt Szabados - MF Workshop

Winterheart 2014
HOD presents 2015

Winterheart contact:
www.facebook.com/winterheartband/
winterhearthun@gmail.com